Sometimes I understand why people are so obsessed with the idea of a phoenix. It’s been over a month now that I’ve been in my new situation. (Isn’t that a pretty way of describing it?) I’m happy to report I’ve gotten a part time job at least though. Something to pass the time and put a little “change in my pocket”, as people have put it, while I’m in school. So far, so good.
After my first day at work I fell into a little bit of a depression. At almost 28 I’m one of the oldest women working at our Buffalo Wild Wings and figuring that out was rough on me. It made me (over)think about where I’m standing in life. Five years ago I had a rising career in banking. I was working in a regional bank’s corporate office, up for a guaranteed promotion, and looking to buy my first home on my own. Then I became a housewife and lived a comfortable but miserable life for 5 years, forsaking that career and all the perks that came with it. Now I’m working part time as a cashier and living with my parents and my children. I kept having that old quote stuck in my head-
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It took a while to pull myself out of it and realize that this is just the beginning for me. It’s another beginning. We’ve moved out into the middle of the woods and this is my view every morning.
I’ve got a job that’s not overly stressful with good people that I’m starting to like, even if they’re mostly people I couldn’t sit and have a drink with for years yet. My little sister works at another B-dubs so it gives us yet another thing to bond over. There was a bet between some of the cooks this week as to how old I actually am and the guesses were all a lot lower than my actual age, so apparently I’ve still got it and the restaurant’s patrons may not notice the difference. (What woman doesn’t want to hear some young guy say his guess was 6 years younger than her actual age?) My bosses are wonderful so far and since I’m only working part time, there’s lots of time left for me to relax until school starts.
At the end of the day, it’s only important that I get out of my own head and continue to be grateful for what I’ve been given in life. I rose up to where I was before and I can easily do it again if I just keep moving. I’ve got people who are loving and supporting me while I get my proverbial shit together and I wouldn’t ever trade them for having that cushy suburban life back. So here I am, in the middle of the woods, sitting on a borrowed futon with my computer monitor on a tiny end table, rising from the ashes. I’ve got this.