Everyone has something they’d love to change about themselves, something that hurts their day to day life or makes them ashamed. I have three of those. I have three little demons sitting on one side of my shoulders telling me to quit. This past month has been full of personal struggles for me so the demons are dancing up there in full force. Jerks.
This is probably the most damaging of my character flaws when it comes to writing and working on my Youtube channel. I am truly the queen of “I’ll do that tomorrow” over and over again. That goes for big things like working on this site down to little things like picking up the couple single socks waiting for pairs that were sitting on my bed. They sat on the floor for 3 days you guys. Three. Freaking. Days. I just didn’t want to bother. I’ve gone back to using a calendar for my work and I’m forcing myself up off my lazy butt to do more things even though right now I’m sick as a dog. If I can do it while I’m feeling so ill, I can definitely do it when I’m healthy.
I hate to give him any credit, but my ex said something to me that rings very true. I don’t overcome roadblocks or obstacles in life very well. That’s true for relationships, work, and all other aspects of my life. I’m defeated very easily and honestly that bothers me. Now I’m going to take more time to work through situations and weigh my options in my head before making rash decisions. I’m not going to give up quite so easily because there’s so many people affected by the decisions every time I make one.
I’ve been a blogger since 2011. I’ve been interviewed as an expert in the field, taken hundreds of questions, and taught several people how to break into the industry. I still feel a little bit of impostor syndrome every month though. I feel like I’m not quite good enough for the industry and just here because someone thought I was special. The truth is that I have trouble believing in my own accomplishments. I’ve been published. I have people at work who like me. I have people in my industry that consider me worth looking up to. That’s a hell of an accomplishment and I need to accept it for what it is.
So there we go. Three things I’m going to work VERY hard on over the next month. I’m going to stop being lazy, work around problems, and try to believe in myself. Because I’m actually kind of awesome.
If you want to work alongside me, put your struggles down in the comment box below to get them out in the open.